Communicating for Connection: The Secret to Building Better Relationships and Driving Results

Imagine this: You’re in a meeting, presenting your ideas to the team. The message is clear, the data is sound, and yet, something isn’t clicking. Eyes are glazing over, engagement is low, and collaboration feels forced.

What if the problem isn’t what you’re saying but how you’re saying it?

Research shows that the most successful leaders don’t just share information—they create connections. By blending emotional engagement with clarity, leaders build trust, inspire loyalty, and spark innovation. If you’ve ever felt like your communication is falling flat, it’s time to move beyond transactions and start transforming your conversations.

I learned the hard way.  Years ago, I lost my cool and yelled at an employee.  It was the beginning of the end since that interaction eroded trust and connection.  The yelling was inappropriate and I saw the error in my ways, however, I did not have the communication skills at the time to handle the situation.  Now, in the age of AI, digitized communication and a pace that mere humans can barely keep up with, communication skills are essential.

In today’s competitive professional landscape, communication isn’t just about exchanging information; it’s about creating connections that lead to trust, collaboration, and innovation. AKA a foundation of relationship building.  Leaders who excel in relational communication don’t just boost morale—they drive measurable results, including increased productivity, enhanced relationships, and greater innovation.

Here’s how you can harness the power of communication for connection while staying professional.

Why Connection-Oriented Communication Matters

Transactional communication—where we exchange information without emotional depth—is efficient but lacks the ability to inspire or build trust. Leaders who focus on relationship-building communication can reap significant rewards:

• Higher Productivity: High-trust workplaces outperform their peers in efficiency and output (Harvard Business Review, 2017).
• More Engagement: Teams with emotionally connected leadership are more invested in their work (Harvard Business Review, 2017).
• Higher Innovation: Relational communication fosters the psychological safety needed for creativity and proactive problem-solving (MIT Human Dynamics Lab).

These benefits highlight that focusing on emotional connection is not a soft skill—it’s a critical driver of professional success.

The Four Communication Styles

Understanding your communication style is essential to developing meaningful connections:

1. Assertive Communication
• Balances clarity and respect for others.
• Fosters open dialogue and mutual understanding.
• Benefit: Builds trust and encourages collaboration.
2. Passive Communication
• Avoids conflict but often at the cost of personal boundaries.
• Risk: Can lead to resentment and missed opportunities for growth.
3. Aggressive Communication
• Focuses solely on one’s own needs, often at the expense of others.
• Risk: Damages relationships and creates resistance.
4. Passive-Aggressive Communication
• Includes sarcasm, disguised criticism, or avoidance.
• Risk: Erodes trust and creates toxicity.

Pro Tip: Assertive communication is the gold standard. It ensures clarity while maintaining respect, making it the most effective style for professionals aiming to lead and collaborate effectively.

The Risks of Transactional Communication

Sticking to information exchange alone has significant downsides, especially in today’s digital world. Here’s what happens when emotional connection is missing:

1. Disconnection and Loneliness
• Digital communication lacks emotional nuance, leading to feelings of isolation.
• Psychological Science research shows face-to-face communication fosters stronger bonds, engaging the brain areas responsible for trust and connection.
2. Reduced Empathy
• Teams with empathetic leaders experience deeper trust and stronger interpersonal relationships (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships).
• Empathy increases perceived trust 
3. Eroded Trust and Loyalty
• Authentic communication builds the trust needed for high-performing teams.
• Harvard Business Review reports that trust reduces workplace stress and improves engagement.
4. Miscommunication and Conflict
• A Journal of Applied Communication Research study found that workplace communication failures stem from a lack of clarity and emotional understanding.
• Emotional nuances such as tone, facial expressions, and body language are essential to avoid misinterpretation.
5. Decreased Innovation
• Teams that engage in emotionally rich communication are more innovative and better at problem-solving (MIT Human Dynamics Lab).

Debunking the Professionalism Myth

It’s a common misconception that professionalism requires emotional detachment. However, research shows that leaders who express emotions appropriately are more effective and trusted.

Daniel Goleman, a pioneer in emotional intelligence, emphasizes that EQ is as critical as IQ for leadership success. Leaders who acknowledge and manage emotions skillfully foster trust, engagement, and performance.

How to Stay Professional While Connecting Emotionally

• Controlled Transparency: Express emotions relevant to the situation without oversharing.
• Example: “I feel frustrated by the delay, but I’m committed to finding a solution.”
• Relevance and Context: Share emotions to clarify or motivate, not to vent or overwhelm.
• Example: Highlighting frustration over a missed deadline can underscore the task’s importance, while venting undermines professionalism.

The ACE Framework for Communication

After exhaustively exploring and teaching so many communication skills, I have found that they are hard to remember, practice and utilize when the pressure of “getting the point and giving a point” becomes overwhelming.  I have narrowed down the top 3 that are easy to remember yet create the greatest success in keeping the connection while relaying messages assertively with compassion.

Usually we aren’t great at all 3!  One area is better than the rest.  Choose which one to improve while staying aware of the needs of the conversation.

Professionals looking to master connection-oriented communication can rely on the ACE Framework:

1. Active Listening
• Paraphrase, ask clarifying questions, and use body language to show engagement.
• Benefit: Builds empathy and trust, essential for productive collaboration.
2. Clarity and Conciseness
• Stick to 1-3 key points and eliminate filler words.
• Benefit: Reduces miscommunication and ensures your message is impactful.
3. Empathy
• Validate others’ perspectives and show genuine care.
• Benefit: Enhances relationships and fosters psychological safety, encouraging innovation and proactive problem-solving.

Professionalism with Connection: The Takeaway

Communicating for connection isn’t just about being nice—it’s a strategic advantage. By incorporating emotional engagement into your professional interactions, you can:

• Boost trust and loyalty.
• Increase productivity and innovation.
• Strengthen relationships and reduce conflict.

Start using the ACE Framework today to transform your communication. Your teams will perform better, your relationships will thrive, and you’ll unlock your full potential as a leader.

Dive deeper into this topic by tuning into Episode 317 of the Empowered Team Podcast: "Communication for Connection: Mastering Authenticity Without Losing Your Professional Edge."

Sources:

• Harvard Business Review, Neuroscience of Trust (2017).
• MIT Human Dynamics Laboratory (2016).
• Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (2018).
• Psychological Science (2019).
• Journal of Applied Communication Research (2020).